underwater

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I like to feel you draw
Tiny circles on my skin
The way sunlight filters through you
And then to me
It’s almost purifying

          Your never-ending touch
          That goes on an
          Infinite trail of petals
          The journey comes to a stop
          Only when I give you a kiss

                    Sometimes when we walk
                    I also feel the distance
                    That grows between you and I
                    When I feel the knots loosen
                    Around us and tighter in my stomach.

          I don’t know what it is
          Because you look so perfect
          And you smell so decent
          And when you speak
          You also smile so perfect

I had a list of everything
I ever wanted in a man
And you are more
Than what a list could hold
Yet, this doesn’t feel like what I seek.

          I’m scared,
          Almost petrified
          To think what I’m thinking
          Somewhere, I wonder
          If you think so too.

                    And if you do,
                    Should I be relieved,
                    Or just be heartbroken
                    Should we continue our paths
                    Or intersect for once and separate forever

          You wish me morning everyday
          Not way too early not way too late
          And I love it, don’t get me wrong
          But I can’t live it everyday
          Am I too wrong?

I go back to my list
And you check every item twice
Is there an option
That I’m unaware of
That answers my why?

         

The same sunlight that
You filter every morning
Now transforms to
Moonbeams that
Drown me in my sleep

         You still smile
         That perfect smile
         Unaware that I have
         Stopped smiling mine

                   And I leave home
                   Early one morning
                   Without saying you bye

                             You do come after me
                             But your head’s underwater, as is mine

                                       We dreamed of each other, but dreams can’t be our lives.


inspired by: my fear of finally finding the perfect person for myself, and unfalling in love because he was perfect, but not right.

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