“we need to talk.”

It’s February 02, 2019 and I don’t even remember the last time I logged in to write something. I don’t even remember the last time I wrote something. But there’s always something I want to write about. So – tada!

Sometimes I don’t understand the kind of person I’ve become. I have an emotional range of negative to large positive numbers. At times, I won’t feel anything and at other times, I’ll begin feeling strongly for something benign. My relationship with people is pretty tangled too – something I’m not sure I can and would want to write.

But. Whatever. That’s not the main subject of this write-up.Moving on.

The main subject here is talking, which I do a lot less of. But let’s, well, talk about it.

Mental health has been gaining a lot of awareness today, and it’s great. But in some (most) parts of India, it is still considered an ‘excuse’. It’s still seen as something that has no existence and is a ‘trendy’ word. Pfft.

People often have the misconception of thinking that depression is the only kind of mental illness. They fail to recognize the threat unless it’s very close to claiming your life. With the increasing ignorance to the idea of mental illness, less and less people want to come forward to talk about it.

You don’t necessarily have to be ‘ill’ to want to talk about it and improve it. Slight and clear signs of deteroiting mental health can also be a concern. It plagues fast.

Not going into the details, just a few days back when I talked to someone much older than me about having a tiny margin of space and time for my mental health in the continuous 3years+ of exhausting schedule, I was told- “it’s all in your head”.

Well of course it is; I just told you it is.

People don’t understand the changing dynamics of health. When we talk of yoga and meditation, we talk of mental strength and mental stability. These are mere fancy terms we have blatantly and rather arrogantly chosen to ignore in practice.

For a culture with a history in both, it should be a shame for us to not give the issue the importance it so deserves in today’s time. We have students pushed into the cages of Kota, and people struggling with keeping up a family with a basic income, and some snorting whites in the hopes of crawling out of whatever it is haunting him, and people who have been under constant pressure to do something.

The more the world advances, the more it gets difficult for us to breathe in it.

And so, we need to talk. And we need to listen.

I cannot stress enough on the entire ball of communication. I have spoken a lot about it in the past posts. But listening – now that’s something we all need too.

We all can look out for each other. We all can have each others’ backs. We all can be strangers and yet lend an ear if someone needs it. I know it can be difficult to talk to someone about it. It needs strength to just talk about something so close and clutching.

This is coming from a person who seeks humour and voice on platforms where people (a) don’t read it (b) don’t know her. I’ve deleted multiple acounts and created new ones just so I could shake people I know in real life from knowing what goes on inside my brain. Imagine talking about something that disturbs you to people.

Which is why I know that talking to strangers sometimes might be a tad bit easier. But also, talking to someone you are close to might actually be able to help you.

As people who are both family and strangers to other people, can we make sure that we read between the lines and listen to whenever somebody wants to speak to us? Sometimes, you don’t have to speak back, but just, listen.

Sometimes we are not in a position to help, but I know this from experience that venting out can be a means to bringing peace and acknowledgement with oneself and the problem. So maybe, you listening to the words of other people might help them figure out things for themselves.

It’s amazing how many cases communication could’ve solved, and still possesses the ability to! We might be late to the party but better late than never.

There’s a tough chance that anybody would be reading this for its lack of human interaction and presence that is rarely spoken about – much like my life. I also know that I can come off as someone terrible to talk to or someone least interested in people. Because sometimes I am. More than sometimes, I prefer to be left alone and just observe (or carry on my work) from a distance. I may not speak, but I’ll always listen.

I also know how difficult it is to approach someone, I’ve been through it too on occasions. But for what it’s worth, I just want you, anyone, everyone to know that there are people out there who’ll not only listen to you but also try to speak to you. All you need to do is communicate.

Attempt to swim to the shore instead of sinking right into the depths of your fear, thinking people will notice you drowning on their own. They won’t unless they know. You need to shout and move your hands and try to keep your head above water to survive and for people to help you get out of your disturbances.

Astronomer, Carl Sagan, famously said that there are more stars in our Universe than grains of sand on the Earth’s beaches. And I hope you make it to a shore where grains are made of such happiness and love that even the stars can’t hold a candle to.

4 thoughts on ““we need to talk.”

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  1. I read your post and I really liked it. I agree with you .Ok So I will talk about me .I am a very lucky human being , having almost everything good in my life but I get frustrated very easily without any reason .Avoid talking to people on their face and I prefer to text.I am sure I will not talk even if I meet you but this is an easy way to open up so I can . when I ask myself whats your problem , i get no answer ad my inner self infact ignore me and my question .you have anything to say?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If I read this somewhere, someday randomly, I’d have thought this was me. It’s like there’s always something nagging that is pulling you back from really getting yourself out there.
      I can only say this for me but, if it helps – my cause of the problem is my insecurity and inability to open up to people.

      Sometimes we bottle up our emotions inside of us and we don’t share our laughter and sadness that it becomes a very bad mixture of different tastes. That never goes well.

      One thing that helps me always is being around something positive. It can be a person, a movie, a book, or a hobby.

      When I’m with people I can laugh with, my regular frustration starts to dissolve. Laughing really helps. Keeping yourself busy helps too. It’s worth a try.

      But also, it’s totally normal? I used to think that isolating myself would make me rude. So at the back of my head I imagined myself constantly being with people. But no, that would be difficult right? Don’t we all need to give ourselves some space and time to think about us?

      Also, when I tried too much of an isolation, it’s comfortable at one point of time, but then it ate me up from withing. This resulted in a very sine-ish graph of human interaction for me.

      We all discover ourselves at our own pace, and we should be comfortable with it, is what I’ve learned, if anything. The more we share our experiences with people, or have that one source of positivity, the frustration starts to take a back seat.

      It is in fact difficult to understand what’s the ‘problem’ and have no answer for it, but there has to be one right? Sometimes we don’t know because we don’t want to.

      It’s a slow process in finding what gives you happiness, but we need to explore to find the jar.

      It also brings me joy to see you reaching out and communicating what you feel. Does it bring any difference, even a tiny bit? Thank you for trusting me with this, I know you’ll find a way out of whatever that disturbs you. ♥️

      Liked by 1 person

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