I know that this title sounds like a horrible take at creativity, but that is because it’s the Dhoom 2 to my Dhoom. If you haven’t read my previous post (I Hate People. Confirmed.) yet, I’d recommend you to read it first here, or there is a possibility that this might not make much sense.
I’m still just as intimidated and awkward and not-ready-to-socialize-with-people as I was then. The only difference now is that I have realized that I don’t exacty hate people. As we all say, hate is a strong word, and an even stronger emotion.
There are times when I can’t stand a particular group of people, but maybe, I don’t hate them. Not yet. In fact, people give spark to my curiosity. I wonder because of them. If you look at it, we are all a miracle in our own way – living our way as we see fit.
The reason my statement stands unconfirmed now is because I’m curious about people. There are so many humans and so many ideas and so many thoughts and just so many so many!
Sometimes, when I see a person with headphones plugged in, I wonder what song they’re listening to. I wonder if they’re listening at all, or merely hearing the words. I wonder what songs lighten up their mood and what makes them think; if there’s a song they can hear five times in a row or a song they absolutely do not want to hear. I wonder what’s the story behind their song. And if they have their own songs.
Or if, they are the lyrics to somebody else’s song.
Sometimes when I see people tapping and sliding their fingers on their phones at busy terminals, totally unaware of the man in the beanie who just gave them a light physical brush to get to the other side – I wonder what it is on their tiny screens that have them so occupied. What is it that fetches them from the real world and pushes them to the virtual one.
And I wonder what newsletters they have subscribed to, and whose friend requests did they just accept, what picture did they just double tap on, and which emoticon did they last use. Not to forget the want to know what kind of internet humour they participate in.
When I’m walking down a busy street or simply watching people from the bus, I see people talking and laughing and smiling.
Some look so happy, and I can’t help but be curious about what it is in mere words that holds the capacity to induce such higher form of relaxation. Some look sad, and I wonder if their day will be made better by somebody. And then there are some who don’t let others know what is going on with them. They are quick and straight, going on about their day, and that is when I wonder if there is someone they let out their emotions to.
There are times when my eyes catch a particular intertwining of threads and a question pops up, a very weird one, I admit. Why did they pick up that particular clothing. Is it the colour, or is it the way it is made. Is it the brand that everyone’s been running after, or is it a gift. What, it makes me think, what made them choose that dress and not the one that used to hang beside it.
I hate roads. But that is not one of the reasons when I see roads and ask myself about destinations. I see vehicles zooming past me and I see vehicles scaling quietly along the roads. I see people travelling – at different speeds, with different means. And I’m curious of their destinations. About their journeys. Where do so many people head for, all at once? Why do they even have to go to those place?
Sometimes, when I see people arguing – there is this strong urge to get an answer to why can’t we solve it like the civil humans we are expected to be. Why do they have to shout and scream and not give others a chance to explain.
There is a whole bunch of burning questions that I want to ask the people of this world, and a whole bunch of answers that I’m dying to get. And this is exactly what makes me think.
I don’t know these people enough. I will never know these people enough. It’s beyond our capacity. I mean, there are some people who have despicability innate in them, but um, let’s forget about those people. Those are exceptions. And I also stand by my point that there is this entire bunch of people with whom I will never be compatible enough to have a healthy social life but I think I’ll stop myself here, thank you.
Back to the real talk. So yes, I don’t know these people. I can assume a thousand things about them but at the end of the day, I’ll only be assuming. I will never know the answers unless I earn it out of them. The answers albeit, can be both positive ah-thank-god-they’re-not-what-i-thought-them-to-be or negative ah-i-told-you-so. But let’s keep that out of context for now.
So when I said earlier that I hated people, and that it was confirmed – guess I wasn’t as confirmed as I should’ve been. Wait, does this mean that I’m ready to experiment interacting with people again? Um, maybe no.
That is one territory that I still have no rule over. Not yet. It is going to take me time to trust people, and not persons. But at least now I have made it public that I don’t hate people; maybe I like to stay away from them, but I definitely don’t hate them.
And therefore, this time, this is to all the people out there – I’m sorry. You have your own words and you have your own story. One that I might never know about, but I wish I did.
To that unknown face in the crowd, I’m sorry that I internally cursed you the day you pushed me on that busy road. To that strange name I once heard about from word-of-mouth and immediatey formed an opinion on. You deserve an opinion that lies much beyond mere hear-say. To that known face who once argued with me on something that really mattered to me, I’m sorry I failed to see it from perspective because of how close and touching the discussion was for me.
This is to everyone – people and persons – I’ll try to believe in you. I hope you will too.
“I Hate People”